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Familie De Dysfunkt 12.14.2003 - 9:45 p.m. ok so enough of the self-pity... this one is entitled "Familie de Dysfunkt!" ***** its thursday night, and christmas is nearing. a sweet family of 7 join together for "Baby's First Christmas Program." There are Nina and Poppy, Aunt Weewee and Aunt Nummer, Mommy and Daddy and baby Jay. Baby Jay is now 2 years old, and this year is his very very first performance in a real Christmas program. Sweet Family sit quietly, anxiously, excitedly in pue. Awaiting precious Baby Jay to walk the aisle with his class, down to the front where he will sing his first Christmas Carols and even introduce his own name in front of the entire congregation. "Here he comes!!" Aunt Weewee shrills in a quiet roar across the pue. Baby Jay walks down the aisle proudly. Looking curiously yet confidently at all the smiling adults. Thousands of camcorders line the center aisle so most recognized faces are disguised from the babies. Uh-oh! Baby Jay spots Nina! "Hey its Nina! Hey Nina!!" and he runs back up the aisle to his family. Teacher lady runs after Baby Jay and quickly scoops him up and takes him down front. Quiet congregation is filled with the screaching of "MOOOOMMMMMMIIIIEEEEEE!!!" Mommy, utterly embarressed and distraught with despair, looks to her family, "what do i do? what do i do?" Aunt Nummer - "Give me the video camera and you go down there." Tension arises as the screaming baby is taking away from the serenity and peacefulness of the program celebrating the Birth of Christ. And now! its time for Baby Jay to go to the stage for his big debut. Mommy, knowing her child is not going to cooperate, joins him to the stage in hopes that he will sing his little heart out while clinging to his mom. Though when she takes him up, a scene he does make. First, wanking his body back and forth in attempts to not be put on the stage. Tries to jump off the stage which i'm sure would have caused more tears. Cries a bit and whines and kicks and scrambles....Mommy takes Baby Jay and returns to the pue. Aunt Nummer with anger in her voice, "I can't BELIEVE you took him out of his first Christmas Program!!" Nina with fervor and comfort, "Don't be mad at him, mommy." Mommy, "Can we leave now?" Thoughts of Daddy yet no spoken words, "Yeah, can we leave this joint? i didn't wanna come no ways. get me outta this place. god, children! i can't take it too much longer!" Aunt Nummer, "NO!! SANTA CLAUS IS COMING AFTERWARDS! YOU CANT LEAVE!!" Thoughts of Aunt Weewee, "Good grief, everybody! There is a freaking Christmas program going on and you're yelling at each other across the pues! Smile and focus on children. Smile and focus on children!" Nina fervor has turned to animosity, "FINE! THEN JUST LEAVE!!" But we stay. with fake smiles. and its over...... and thats my family.... � |
